and you might, too!

It was the best(?) of times, it was the worst of times.  It was the age of wisdom and the age of foolishness. If you knew that was the next line, raise your hand! Right now, I’m taking a moment to reflect.  There are so many things to love about quarantine, and there’s so little time.  Oh, wait, I got ahead of myself here.  We’re still in it.  For those of you excited for quarantine to end, don’t wish your life away, as my mother always says.  See, it’s all about wisdom.  Here’s what I love the most about quarantine…

• Getting in touch with my inner self.  The daily morning wellness examination – that tingle of anticipation as I check for the Covid.  Cough?  Fever?  No and no.  Shortness of breath?  Wait – yes!!!  Oh, but I just came up the stairs with the laundry.  Is it allergies or the virus?  A little medical anxiety adds excitement to the day, especially if, like me, you don’t know what day it is.

• Dress decisions solved.  Will I shower today and what am I going to wear?  These decisions can now be made in five seconds.  When we’re out of quarantine, this issue requires much more thought.  The weather must be considered, as well as meetings and social activities after work. Keeping it real here; social activities for me usually consist of picking up my son at his after-school program.  For the record, the answer to the question above is no and sweats.  In quarantine, elasticized waistbands are de rigueur.  Desk to dinner and dancing.  Elegantly simple, basic and understated. 

• Soft skills.  I’ve appreciated having this time to hone my greeting skills when meeting new people in business.  Since I have not really met many new people nor am I at work, it’s been a bit challenging to perfect my elbow bump skills.  It’s all in the approach.  Tip:  you want to be a little careful here – an elbow bump off by a few inches  and you have a sexual harassment suit on your hands.  And then you can forget getting a job on the Today Show.

• Grocery store strategy.  I’ll miss reenacting The Hunger Games in the grocery store.  I love that adrenaline rush as I accelerate my cart to grab the last box of pasta.  I’m no mathematician, but I can estimate six feet. Probably because it’s marked right there on the floor. Look down, people!  It’ll be a total bummer when people actually learn to follow the arrows.  What excitement will there be without a cart barreling right towards yours – in the same aisle?!  Side note – the book is better than the movie.  

• Masks.  When they don’t fog up my reading glasses – total win.  I see people wearing masks in their cars too…and it’s cool because they can rock out to Engelbert Humperdinck and no one’s the wiser.  Tip – put your windows up at the red light.  Can’t beat them? Join them.  We’ll sing it together, “After the lovin’…”  louder now…”I’m still in love with you.”  Actually, I might not have a chance to miss the mask thing because I think they’ll be with us for a while.  Stock up now, and get the pretty ones!  A whole new frontier of fashion.

• Enunciation.  It’s cathartic to express repeat myself several times because no one can understand me with the mask on.  And, sometimes it really gets interesting.  I can’t touch the mask, now it’s slipping around, and breathing is an issue.  Oxygen-deprived, I attempt the sentence again although at this point, I don’t know what I was saying.  Neither does the cashier.  Nevertheless, it’s important to work on our phonics and public speaking skills.  Although in my line of work, as a teacher, I’ve probably had plenty of practice already…

• To glove or not to glove?  That is the question.  Again, this trend shows no signs of slowing down.  First, I wore my winter gloves into the store, and they were seasonally appropriate.  Now, I’ve moved on to rubber gloves, which I believe to be seasonless. I could wear gardening gloves to a future outdoor gathering or even a baseball glove at some point during the summer.  In the future, I might even consider oven mitts. The possibilities are endless, and frankly, a little bit exciting!!

• Waiting in line to enter Trader Joe’s.  This has been truly satisfying.  It’s a nice chance to be at one with nature and (bonus) make strangers into friends.  I usually forgo the elbow bump because I’m not sure if they have practiced at home and we wouldn’t want any slippage. It would be tough to identify my new acquaintances in a lineup, though, because most have hats and masks on, but still.  You have to look past someone’s appearance to see the good inside.  More of my mother’s wisdom here.  

• Breaking News.  Speaking of good hearts/bad childhoods and a lineup – where have all the criminals gone?  Constant breaking news, but nothing is happening.  Criminals aren’t out doing their thing, because we’re all home.  I can tell from my son’s Live P.D. television show that they’re really scraping the bottom of the barrel to show unlawfulness.  “Your mask isn’t over your nose – citation!”  that sort of thing.  And apparently driving skills have improved because you don’t hear about many accidents on the roads either.

• Roots.  Asking for a friend.  Patchwork hair will soon be so 2020, and I admit I’ll be a little sorry to see it go.  It’s kind of fun to see some new greys when I look into the mirror and challenge myself to pull them out.  So far, they’re winning, but who’s counting?  I live to fight the grey another day.

• Online shopping.  When I finally walk into a store, not only my temperature but my blood pressure will have to be checked. T.J. Maxx – I do think about you daily.  I have not been on the HomeGoods website.  I’ll see you as soon as I can.  Promise.  Hang in there.  Love you.  Mean it.  

• New colleagues.  It’s nice to work with new people who have a fresh perspective.  My new colleague (the fourth grader) not only knows when I need to take a break (he interrupts me at the best times, like when I’m on a work call) and knows that I need exercise, so I can run around looking for him.  We’re getting it done and taking names around here!

• Telemarketers.  That magical moment when an unknown number pops up on my phone.  Don’t judge; telemarketers need friends, too. They might even be considered essential.  Aren’t we all in this together?  And it’s a new person to talk to.  I can help them to be #alonetogether, although reach out and touch someone seems to be a bad idea these days.  See soft skills bullet for more information. 

• Home improvements.  Are those marks on the wall paint?  Who decided it was a good idea to have a cream rug in the family room?  I need answers, and I need them now.  And, I need a contractor, a decorator, and my mask to go rob a bank for the renovation funds.  So much to do today, so little time.  Actually, there is time, but I’m now watching a Fixer Upper marathon, so I’ll ponder this issue later.  Maybe just let Chip and Jo Gaines do their thing to other people’s houses and that will be satisfying enough for me.  The moment passed.

• Meetings.  In pajamas. It was the first faculty meeting and I was running late.  I sat in the meeting wearing my bathrobe, with a towel on my head.  How was I to know that others could see me as well?  And no, I wasn’t the worst offender.  There is that person who keeps asking a question just as the meeting is about to end.  Mute her mike!  

• Practicing gratitude. – I am grateful the price of gas is so cheap.  There is nowhere to go and I have been on the same tank of gas for six weeks, but still.  Endless gratitude that the CT spring feels like winter and I can enjoy even more quality time in these four walls. There’s gratitude when I see Dr. Birx debut a different scarf every day.  I am truly grateful to see the home decor choices of news anchors and celebrities.  Can you zoom in on that backsplash? Is that  pillow a Target find or designer?  Maybe a quick tour after your report? Thank you!  Practicing gratitude here…it’s a thing now.    

• Clarification needed.  I know that we’re #alonetogether because the news keeps telling me that and when I look around these four walls I only see one other person.  Now, when quarantine ends, will we be #togethertogether?  And what will that look like?  Because I can tell you right now I won’t have that spring cleaning done and frankly, that phrase #togethertogether seems a bit redundant.  Can we possibly, as my friend Maria suggested, just not tell some people when quarantine is over?  Not to be mean or anything…hey, just because we’re all in this together doesn’t mean we have to stay together.  Or does it???  There might not be enough bubbly in the liquor store if it does…